Why do we play games with people’s emotions?

This subject fascinates me, what makes us want to purposely hurt someone with words or actions? Why do we feel justified doing this? Does it make us a better person?

This happened to me the other day and it got me thinking. Someone said something not directly at me but directed at me. Come on, I am not stupid even though at times I might give that impression, because I generally keep my mouth shut does not mean that my head is filled with air bubbles! Still waters run deep and I often choose to remain silent.

Just why I was targeted is beyond me. I consider myself to be a very tolerant, kind and caring person, I have huge amounts of compassion and empathy. So why this person decided to have a dig at me, hoping that I would get it – baffles me. It was in reference to a caring incident that took place earlier in the year. Only problem the dig was in essence saying “your caring was not welcome”. This in itself astounded me, upset me and made me consider who I extend my kind caring nature to. Problem is that my nature will not allow me to simply ignore any ‘help’ sympathy or empathy that this person may need in future. I know myself without thinking I will extend a hand of help to this very person knowing that I will probably get shot down later down the line by them, knowing this won’t stop me because that is how I am wired. What it will do is make me consider how I interact with this person in future, I will be cautious but never rude or obnoxious, I would never allow them to feel rejected by me, but I will protect myself from them doing that to me. I will not allow them to manipulate or tramp all over me, to use me and abuse me. I will stand up a little straighter and face them head on, always been polite and kind but not at my expense. I won’t be as obliging as I have been in the past, things will be a little different and I am okay with that. They probably won’t even notice, and I am also okay with that.

I understand how the world operates, I understand how self centred and selfish humans can be. I never want to be lumped into that category but I can learn how I will deal with people who are like this. I certainly don’t have to make excuses for them, or feel sorry for them, they are responsible for the situations they find themselves in and for the things that happen to them. I can lend them an ear and a shoulder to lean on … and that is all I have to do. I do not have to fix it, offer suggestions, go out of my way to make it better.

Instead, I will be focusing on those who add value to my life, are like me ready to drop what they are doing to help me when I need it, like I would happily do for them. The great thing about this is that I have narrowed it down to a few caring wonderful people in my life. To B, S, A, A, D, L, E thank you from the bottom of my heart, you are all stars.


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