The world according to …

Feel free to insert your name in or someone else’s. How many times have you heard people use this term, either when referring to something they are saying or something someone else has said. Whether this is said in jest or with sarcasm does not matter, we all understand the term and what it is alluding to.

A recent remark made me realise how too often we adopt this attitude in our own lives to serve a purpose. We may be sitting chatting to friends and make a remark that is totally ludicrous but we are serious about it and you realise as the words leave your mouth that it is clearly one of those “The world according to …” remarks and your friends are probably running that through their brains at the same time.

We do this without thinking and I know I do it in a way to understand the motivation or thinking behind a statement. When someone makes a brash harsh statement, I step back and think okay what and why, then think about how they operate their world and analyse how this statement fits into their world.

Their world encompasses so many things from their circle of friends, the work they do, the car they drive, where they live, what they wear, what they do socially, interests, morals, ethics etc. When you take all of these things into account the statement fits and might not be as abrasive as you originally thought. They are after all using their sphere of reference adding some personal feelings/emotions to the statement and it fits their world view and they feel comfortable with it.

I think that there is a fine line as to how you operate ‘your world’ and how it impacts those around you. If you have a set of morals and values that you expect others to adhere to and accept then please don’t do the opposite to them. If for example you state vocally “I am not judgemental and can’t stand people who are”, then remember those words, adhere to them, and don’t change them to suit a circumstance or whim. Treat people like you want to be treated. If you require people to respect you than you have to respect them back. If you want honesty and open communication then practice that, don’t harbour things and let them all explode at once and dig into past things causing a volcano of emotions and feelings to erupt and then expect your target to stand back and calmly accept your volcanic eruption, apologise to you and move on. In my experience there is always a chain reaction and you need to be prepared for that to happen. What gives you the right to get angry and mad and someone else must just accept that. Why are people shocked when someone dares to fight back? Why can’t they have their say and defend themselves?

So next time you climb onto your “the world according to …” horse, take a breather and think about what you are about to do and say and how you would feel if someone did that to you.

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