Clearing out the clutter

This is my year where I prune and “declutter” my life.  I guess we all start the new year off with these intentions and a couple of weeks into the new year we have forgotten about it.  Since I am now home most of the time I am managing to do exactly that.

I’m slowly getting rid of the clutter and emptying boxes and dropping off boot loads of things at the local Hospice shop.  Even my daughters are doing the same, every week they have a packet or box of stuff that they no longer need for me to drop off for them.  We all know how much simpler life is when you clean out and chuck away.  We also know how hard it is to be ruthless and achieve that.  I find myself unpacking a whole box and looking at the contents and making little piles of things and than becoming bored and shoving it all back in the box.  Now I have found this method to be effective, as I always have a rubbish pile.  So when I tackle the box again I go through the same process and than a few days later, I have it sorted.  I think I become overwhelmed and a little to sentimental and can’t let go of some things.  After the third or fourth unpacking and repacking, I get hard with myself and mentally say “it can all go”, and it does.  Its might sound like a long drawn out process but it works for me.  Last week alone I managed to clear out three big boxes of stuff.

I’m also pruning the things I don’t want in my life any more.  Simply, trimming the branch and moving on.  Sometimes we become too involved in too many things and have too many people we are looking after in our lives.  I’ve looked hard at the things I want to continue doing and will continue with them this year.  The things I was not enjoying, are no longer.  I have decided who I enjoy been around and have made a concerted effort to spend time with them.  The others that have either drained me or added no value whatsoever, are not forgotten or discarded, I have changed the way I interact with them in a way that suits me better and is easier for me to handle.  This has helped so much.  I have realised that I am not responsible for other peoples happiness.  I’m responsible for my happiness and that is my priority, and I don’t feel guilty about it one little bit.

I want to surround myself with people who add energy and value to my life, people who understand how I tick and tick the same way.  I want to bounce ideas and thoughts off people with similar interests as mine.  I want to read and read, but not just fiction, I have a whole list of non fiction books waiting to be read, on topics that interest me.  I only want to watch movies that I enjoy and not just watch a movie for the sake of it.  I don’t want to waste time attending an event, function or party that I really don’t want to be at.  My time is valuable and precious to me and I am going to use it wisely.

My aim this year is to read at least 25 books.  I have set myself a goal of reading for an hour or more each day.  I use the time waiting for my  girls after school to squeeze in some reading time and have got into the habit of always carrying my book with me.  You never know when you an opportunity will present it self for you to read.  Waiting at the doctors room, waiting at the bank, or when you’re early for an appointment, these are fantastic times to read.  Instead of getting annoyed about wasting time, lose yourself in your book.  If you spend a lot of time in traffic listen to audio books, you’ll be surprised how much listening you get done and it makes your road trips interesting.  If you don’t like books download podcasts on subjects that interest you.

Well having said all this, it’s time for me to go and fetch my girls from school and lose myself in my book.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Blindly accepting …

In the last few years I have discovered something rather interesting. I am to blame for most of it simply because I just accepted what I was told and didn’t bother to explore it for myself. Why I did this is a mystery, perhaps at the times it was easier for me, who knows?

When I was married my husband and I had very different tastes in music and movies, as with all things there are always areas that overflow and a few bands or movies that you both enjoy. The same can be said for our favourite authors, he read books and told me they weren’t really my style so I just blindly accepted this and steered clear of them, the same with movies and music.

Here are a few examples, when Matrix came out he told me I wouldn’t enjoy it and I just accepted that and didn’t bother finding out what it was about or even watching it. Years later I happened to be bored and watched the second Matrix movie and I was hooked. I was also told that I would not enjoy The Lord of the Rings, so never even worried to watch the movies or find out more about them. He would take the movies out on DVD and watch them when I went to bed. For years I just accepted this and never really bothered to question it. Three years ago I finally got to watch The Lord of the Rings and since then have watched them several times.

Two weeks ago I was looking for something to read and stumbled across an author that I knew about but had never read any of her books. I know while married my husband read all her books and loved them and when I asked about them he said he didn’t think I would enjoy them. Again I blindly accepted this and steered clear of them. Two weeks ago I decided to try them and I am so hooked on them and loving them.

I don’t blame him entirely for this, I after all am responsible for my life and I should have ignored his response and told him I would try the movie or read the book and make up my own mind. What I do blame him for is that he thought he knew what I would like and dislike and that he never encouraged me to explore and try out new things. I know for a fact that I always encouraged him to try out new authors, movies, games and gave him the time and space to do this.

The big lesson I have learned is this: when someone says to me ‘you probably won’t enjoy it” it means that I will and I need to try it out for myself. I am in the one in control and know what I enjoy and don’t enjoy and as the years trot on I realise that my tastes and interests change and I need to bear that in mind and adjust the sails.

45 & fabulous!

Yesterday I turned 45! Instead of feeling depressed about it I am rather excited about being 45. I still have another 30 – 40 odd years, maybe longer, I have had several great grandparents who lived well into their nineties.

I look at the next chapter of my life with excitement and anticipation. There are so many things waiting for me to try and adventures waiting to happen. I need to add my bucket list to my Toodledo organiser.

As I turn 45 I realise that many things have changed in my life in the past 3 years and I am eternally grateful for that. I like who I am now and am comfortable with myself.

Currently playing on my Ipod Twisted Transistor by Korn – absolutely love it. My taste in music has changed I enjoy Enomine, Rammstein, Korn, Muse, Live, System of a down. I can no longer watch chick flicks, I want to poke pins in my eyes when watching them. I enjoy a good romantic movie, don’t get me wrong but I really don’t enjoy the predictable romcom. I enjoy art movies something that challenges me and makes me think about life and the things around me.

Within the next 4 years both my children will be finished with school and embarking on their own adventures. Instead of finding myself in that empty nest syndrome and panic of what now, I have started making plans and thinking about what I am going to do with my life once they are living theirs. I am super excited about it, more about that in another blog.

At the ripe old age of 42 I started clubbing! Horrors some would say, but what a fantastic time I am having. We frequent a particular club that is close to home and caters to the alternative club culture. They hold very specific themed evenings and we love the Goth evenings. Getting dressed up for the evening and mixing with like minded people is great and thankfully I am not the oldest clubber on those evenings!

I am more adventurous in my eating, for years and years I stayed away from sushi because I found the thought of eating raw fish and avocadoes repulsive. Then my man sat me down and patiently took me through the different types of sushi and now I am hooked. How stupid, I missed out all those years, but am making up for lost time. I will choose sushi over anything else anytime, even chocolate.

Gone are the box t-shirts and trying to hide my voluptuous figure. My curves are just great and at the moment a little curvier than I would like but none the less very much part of me. I am what I am and I intend to show it off with clothing that has shape and shows off my cleavage, that I for some odd reason I have kept hidden for the past 20 years! For many years I detested clothes shopping and would avoid it at all costs, now I love walking through stores and wondering if that jacket, skirt or pants would suit me. I don’t just wonder, I try them on and I have been amazed to find that things I think won’t look nice, look absolutely stunning.

I have a new lease on life and I don’t intend to squash it or allow anyone else to squash it for me.