Blindly accepting …

In the last few years I have discovered something rather interesting. I am to blame for most of it simply because I just accepted what I was told and didn’t bother to explore it for myself. Why I did this is a mystery, perhaps at the times it was easier for me, who knows?

When I was married my husband and I had very different tastes in music and movies, as with all things there are always areas that overflow and a few bands or movies that you both enjoy. The same can be said for our favourite authors, he read books and told me they weren’t really my style so I just blindly accepted this and steered clear of them, the same with movies and music.

Here are a few examples, when Matrix came out he told me I wouldn’t enjoy it and I just accepted that and didn’t bother finding out what it was about or even watching it. Years later I happened to be bored and watched the second Matrix movie and I was hooked. I was also told that I would not enjoy The Lord of the Rings, so never even worried to watch the movies or find out more about them. He would take the movies out on DVD and watch them when I went to bed. For years I just accepted this and never really bothered to question it. Three years ago I finally got to watch The Lord of the Rings and since then have watched them several times.

Two weeks ago I was looking for something to read and stumbled across an author that I knew about but had never read any of her books. I know while married my husband read all her books and loved them and when I asked about them he said he didn’t think I would enjoy them. Again I blindly accepted this and steered clear of them. Two weeks ago I decided to try them and I am so hooked on them and loving them.

I don’t blame him entirely for this, I after all am responsible for my life and I should have ignored his response and told him I would try the movie or read the book and make up my own mind. What I do blame him for is that he thought he knew what I would like and dislike and that he never encouraged me to explore and try out new things. I know for a fact that I always encouraged him to try out new authors, movies, games and gave him the time and space to do this.

The big lesson I have learned is this: when someone says to me ‘you probably won’t enjoy it” it means that I will and I need to try it out for myself. I am in the one in control and know what I enjoy and don’t enjoy and as the years trot on I realise that my tastes and interests change and I need to bear that in mind and adjust the sails.


45 & fabulous!

Yesterday I turned 45! Instead of feeling depressed about it I am rather excited about being 45. I still have another 30 – 40 odd years, maybe longer, I have had several great grandparents who lived well into their nineties.

I look at the next chapter of my life with excitement and anticipation. There are so many things waiting for me to try and adventures waiting to happen. I need to add my bucket list to my Toodledo organiser.

As I turn 45 I realise that many things have changed in my life in the past 3 years and I am eternally grateful for that. I like who I am now and am comfortable with myself.

Currently playing on my Ipod Twisted Transistor by Korn – absolutely love it. My taste in music has changed I enjoy Enomine, Rammstein, Korn, Muse, Live, System of a down. I can no longer watch chick flicks, I want to poke pins in my eyes when watching them. I enjoy a good romantic movie, don’t get me wrong but I really don’t enjoy the predictable romcom. I enjoy art movies something that challenges me and makes me think about life and the things around me.

Within the next 4 years both my children will be finished with school and embarking on their own adventures. Instead of finding myself in that empty nest syndrome and panic of what now, I have started making plans and thinking about what I am going to do with my life once they are living theirs. I am super excited about it, more about that in another blog.

At the ripe old age of 42 I started clubbing! Horrors some would say, but what a fantastic time I am having. We frequent a particular club that is close to home and caters to the alternative club culture. They hold very specific themed evenings and we love the Goth evenings. Getting dressed up for the evening and mixing with like minded people is great and thankfully I am not the oldest clubber on those evenings!

I am more adventurous in my eating, for years and years I stayed away from sushi because I found the thought of eating raw fish and avocadoes repulsive. Then my man sat me down and patiently took me through the different types of sushi and now I am hooked. How stupid, I missed out all those years, but am making up for lost time. I will choose sushi over anything else anytime, even chocolate.

Gone are the box t-shirts and trying to hide my voluptuous figure. My curves are just great and at the moment a little curvier than I would like but none the less very much part of me. I am what I am and I intend to show it off with clothing that has shape and shows off my cleavage, that I for some odd reason I have kept hidden for the past 20 years! For many years I detested clothes shopping and would avoid it at all costs, now I love walking through stores and wondering if that jacket, skirt or pants would suit me. I don’t just wonder, I try them on and I have been amazed to find that things I think won’t look nice, look absolutely stunning.

I have a new lease on life and I don’t intend to squash it or allow anyone else to squash it for me.

Arty Crafty

One thing that keeps me going is been creative and trying out new crafts. There are certain magazines that I find so inspirational. I look at the pages and am inspired to try out the ideas and see what I can do with them.

I grew up in a very crafty family, my dad makes the most stunning furniture, he can do almost anything (except operate a computer!), we refer to him as the Oracle, if we are stuck with something we can always ask him and he will tell us how to do it. My mom does all kinds of crafts and is very artistic, a skill I do not have. My brother can make and do pretty much anything just like my dad and he can operate a computer! My sister is like my mom, draws, and paints and will tackle anything. I too can do most crafts and am not scared to try out something new, what I cannot do is draw or crochet. My plan is to learn to crochet this year but drawing is not on my list of priorities, I have other ways of been creative that fill that gap.

My love for crafts grew from my mother encouraging my sister and me to try out all things. Her motto was you don’t know if you haven’t tried. My sister would grumble and groan her way through sewing, embroidery projects that my mom set us. One Christmas about 5 years ago my mom bought me, my sister and sister-in-law a strange Christmas gift. Strange if you don’t understand our family, but for me it was great. She bought us each some wool and double ended knitting needles to knit ourselves a pair of socks. The gift included the pattern, but it did not stop there. After lunch my mom had us sit in a row and got us started on knitting our socks. Now I need to explain that my mom and dad live in the Southern Cape, we had flown down on Christmas morning and had some very dear friends, and their mother and sister join our family for Christmas Day and spending the night. I am sure that they thought we were absolutely crazy, sitting there and knitting socks on Christmas Day. What transpired was quiet unique, after sitting watching us for a while the mom and sister also wanted to knit so we hunted down some needles and wool and we all sat knitting. Now the strange thing is that I am sure they never ever thought that they would spend a Christmas day knitting, but by seeing us doing something it inspired them and they wanted to join in.

So my theory is that people need an avenue to explore their crafts and someone needs to provide that avenue for them, hence my arty crafty afternoons. I want to give ladies the opportunity to try out crafts and become inspired to do things. I have a friend who I met in 1995, when I met her she did absolutely no craft or hobbies of any sort. I was appalled by this and got her started on cross stitching before long she was hooked, then I introduced her to scrapbooking and before long she was trying other things. Now she no longer views crafty things as scary, rather she looks upon them as a challenge and goes for it.

My challenge to you if you are not a crafty person is to give it a try, try different mediums until you find the one thing that you truly enjoy and fills your emotional tank. Never say I can’t until you have tried.